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I bore up against everything with some stubbornness of will and much rebellion of nature till I had absolutely nothing left in the world but Cyril. I had lost my name, my position, my happiness, my freedom, my wealth. I was a prisoner and a pauper[101a]. But I had still one beautiful thing left, my own eldest son. Suddenly he was taken away from me by the law. It was a blow so appalling that I did not know what to do, so I flung myself on my knees, and bowed my head, and wept and said “The body of a child is as the body of the Lord: I am not worthy of either.” That moment seemed to save me. I saw then that the only thing for me was to accept everything. Since then—curious as it will no doubt sound to you—I have been happier.
碰到大小事情，我因为意志上有些顽梗、加上天性中的不少叛逆，向来是咬咬牙挺住，直到在世界上除了西里尔，我一无所有。 名声、地位、幸福、自由、财富，全失去了，人成了阶下囚、穷光蛋[101a]。但我还是有一样美好的东西，我自己的大儿子。突然间他又被法庭判走了。这个打击令我毛骨悚然，不知该怎样才好，于是跪在地上，低下头，哭着说：“孩子的身躯有如主的身躯，可我两样都不配得到。” 这一刻似乎救了我。我当下明白，唯一能做的只有接受一切。从那以后——你听了无疑会觉得奇怪——我心情便高兴了一些。
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