29
But, indeed, I need not go on further with more instances of the strange Doom you seem to have brought on me in all things big or little. It makes me feel sometimes as if you yourself had been merely a puppet worked by some secret and unseen hand to bring terrible events to a terrible issue. But puppets themselves have passions. They will bring a new plot into what they are presenting, and twist the ordered issue of vicissitude to suit some whim or appetite of their own[29a]. To be entirely free, and at the same time entirely dominated by law, is the eternal paradox of human life that we realise at every moment; and this, I often think, is the only explanation possible of your nature, if indeed for the profound and terrible mysteries of a human soul there is any explanation at all, except one that makes the mystery more marvellous still[29b].
但是，我确实用不着再举更多的例子来说明了，不管是大事小事，你好像都给我带来莫名其妙的厄运。这使我有时觉得你本人似乎不过是为哪只神秘的、看不见的手所操纵的傀儡，来把一个可怕的局面弄得更加不可收拾。但是傀儡们自己也并非无情无欲。他们也会让要他们表演的东西平添曲折，心血来潮便把人间炎凉兴衰的前因后果扭曲，以遂他们的哪个心愿[29a]。要全然的自由，同时又要全然地受制于律法，这是我们时时感受到的人生永恒的吊诡；而这一点，我常常想，只能是你性情的唯一可能的解释，如果说对人性那深邃可怕的神秘，除了越说越神之外，的确能有什么解释的话[29b]。
29