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You must remember that, if when matched with one mere moment of my imprisonment the balance in which you lie kicks the beam, Vanity made you choose the balance, and Vanity made you cling to it. There was the one great psychological error of our friendship, its entire want of proportion. You forced your way into a life too large for you, one whose orbit transcended your power of vision no less than your power of cyclic motion[156a], one whose thoughts, passions and actions were of intense import, of wide interest, and fraught, too heavily indeed, with wonderful or awful consequence[156b]. Your little life of little whims and moods was admirable in its own little sphere[156c]. It was admirable at Oxford, where the worst that could happen to you was a reprimand from the Dean or a lecture from the President[156d], and where the highest excitement was Magdalen becoming head of the river, and the lighting of a bonfire in the quad as a celebration of the august event. It should have continued in its own sphere after you left Oxford. In yourself, you were all right. You were a very complete specimen of a very modern type. It was simply in reference to me that you were wrong. Your reckless extravagance was not a crime. Youth is always extravagant. It was your forcing me to pay for your extravagances that was disgraceful[156e]. Your desire to have a friend with whom you could pass your time from morning to night was charming. It was almost idyllic. But the friend you fastened on should not have been a man of letters, an artist, one to whom your continual presence was as utterly destructive of all beautiful work as it was actually paralysing to the creative faculty[156f]. There was no harm in your seriously considering that the most perfect way of passing an evening was to have a champagne dinner at the Savoy, a box at a Music-Hall to follow, and a champagne supper at Willis’s as a bonne-bouche for the end. Heaps of delightful young men in London are of the same opinion. It is not even an eccentricity. It is the qualification for becoming a member of White’s. But you had no right to require of me that I should become the purveyor of such pleasures for you. It showed your lack of any real appreciation of my genius. Your quarrel with your father, again, whatever one may think about its character, should obviously have remained a question entirely between the two of you. It should have been carried on in a backyard. Such quarrels, I believe, usually are. Your mistake was in insisting on its being played as a tragi-comedy on a high stage in History, with the whole world as the audience, and myself as the prize for the victor in the contemptible contest. The fact that your father loathed you, and that you loathed your father, was not a matter of any interest to the English public. Such feelings are very common in English domestic life[156g], and should be confined to the place they characterise: the home. Away from the home-circle they are quite out of place. To translate them is an offence. Family-life is not to be treated as a red flag to be flaunted in the streets, or a horn to be blown hoarsely on the housetops. You took Domesticity out of its proper sphere, just as you took yourself out of your proper sphere.
你应该记住，只需同我在牢狱中的一个片刻相比，你那一头的天平就要翘到天上去。虚荣心使你选了那一头，虚荣心使你紧抱着那一头。你我的友谊存在着这么一个心理上的大错，即完全不成比例。你硬闯进了一个对你来说是太大了的生活，其轨道之高远，为你的圆周运动能力所不逮，也非你的目力所能及[156a]，其思想、激情和行动举足轻重，备受关注，动辄充满了——的确是充得太满了——令人惊叹或令人敬畏的影响[156b]。你那小小的生活，那些小小的异想天开、喜怒无常，在它自己小小的范围内值得钦佩[156c]。在牛津时值得钦佩。在那里，最糟糕的莫过于被学监数落一顿，被院长训斥一场[156d]；最痛快的莫过于莫德林学院胜了划艇赛，在方院里燃起篝火庆祝这一盛事。你离开牛津后，这本该就在它自己的范围内延续下去的。就你本人，没什么可说的。你是一种非常现代的类型的一个非常完整的标本。只是在同我参照时才显得你错了。你那不顾轻重的挥霍并非犯罪。青春总是意味着挥霍。可耻的是你逼我为你的挥霍付帐[156e]。找个朋友可以从早到晚地陪你消遣，你的这个愿望倒很可爱，简直充满了田园诗意。但你紧拽不放的朋友不该是个文学家、艺术家。对这样的人，你老守在跟前，实在叫创作的官能麻痹瘫痪，这样的厮守，那什么美好的作品都灰飞烟灭了[156f]。你一心一意地认为，消磨一个晚上的最佳方式，是在萨瓦伊开一桌香槟正餐，接着是杂耍剧场里开一个包厢，再接着是在威利斯来一顿香槟夜宵，作为良宵将尽的最后美味。这本无伤大雅。在伦敦，持这个观点的可爱的年轻人成打成堆。这甚至连怪癖也不是。这是怀特俱乐部成员必备的资格。可你无权要求我为你承办诸如此类的宴乐。这表明你毫无眼光来真正欣赏我的才华。同样，你们父子间的争吵，不管其性质如何，显然的本来应该完全是你们两人之间的问题。本该拿到后院去吵才是。这样的事，我相信，通常都是拿到那地方去争去吵的。你的错，在于硬要把它搬上历史的高台演成一出悲喜剧，让全世界作为它的观众，把我当作这场卑鄙的比赛中赏给胜者的奖品。你父亲恨你，你恨你父亲，这样的事英国公众才没兴趣呢。 这类不和在英国家庭生活中司空见惯[156g]，因而应该局限在以此为特征的地方：家里。一出其家庭圈子就不适宜了。易地而为便是冒犯。家庭生活不能当作红旗一面，可以拿到街上张扬，也不是什么号角，可以拿到屋顶上吹得声嘶力竭。你把家事带出了它的正当范围，一如你把自己带出了你的正当范围。156