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发布时间:2023-03-16 11:42:50

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But most of all I blame myself for the entire ethical degradation I allowed you to bring on me. The basis of character is will-power, and my will-power became absolutely subject to yours[10a]. It sounds a grotesque thing to say, but it is none the less true[10b]. Those incessant scenes that seemed to be almost physically necessary to you, and in which your mind and body grew distorted and you became a thing as terrible to look at as to listen to: that dreadful mania you inherit from your father, the mania for writing revolting and loathsome letters: your entire lack of any control over your emotions as displayed in your long resentful moods of sullen silence, no less than in the sudden fits of almost epileptic rage: all these things[10c] in reference to which one of my letters to you, left by you lying about at the Savoy or some other hotel and so produced in Court by your father’s Counsel, contained an entreaty not devoid of pathos, had you at that time been able to recognise pathos either in its elements or its expression: — these, I say, were the origin and causes of my fatal yielding to you in your daily increasing demands. You wore one out. It was the triumph of the smaller over the bigger nature. It was the case of that tyranny of the weak over the strong which somewhere in one of my plays I describe as being “the only tyranny that lasts.”[10.1] 

但是我最怪自己的,是让你使我的道德完全堕落。性格的根基在于意志力,而我的意志力却变得完全臣服于你[10a]。听起来不可思议,但却是千真万确[10b]。那些接二连三的吵闹折腾,在你几乎是出于肉体的需要,可同时又使你的心灵和肉体扭曲,让你变成一个别人不敢听不敢看的怪物;你从你父亲那儿继承的那种可怕的狂躁,使你写出令人恶心的书信;你对自己的感情完全失去控制,要么郁郁寡欢长久的不言不语,要么如癫痫发作似的突然怒发冲冠。凡此种种性格扭曲、狂躁和情感失控[10c],我在给你的一封信中都已提及——这信你把它随便丢在萨瓦伊或哪家旅馆,而让你父亲的辩护律师得以出示给法庭——那信中不无悲怆地恳求过你,假如你那时能认识什么是悲怆的心情和言辞的话——我说,这些就是我为什么会对你与日俱增的索求作出致命让步的根源所在。你会把人磨垮的。这是小的胜过大的。这是弱者的暴政压过了强者,在一出剧本的什么地方我说过这是 “唯一历久不衰的暴政”。 

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